Take over for a make over

Life takes unannounced and unseen turns, forcing so many of us to take the leap. That leap into the unknown or the 'semi- known'. A lot of us revel in the comfort of delusions, as life's chakra calls for routines. These routines are what some numbed out souls thrive on, because of the dearth of other morally right choices, when it comes to living and rolling with the punches. One is often aware of the possibility of this precarious nature of the facade being dangerously blown. Yet we linger on with the unnatural shades of truth, that we paint with, just to get the canvas covered. The artist soon feels the fatigue and the work receives less than perfect remarks.

Why this is the case with many of us, could be answered with a few truths - I state these mostly from my limited experience :-

-A fear of rejection, loss and change

-The horrendous possibility of a confrontation

- Reprimands and failures from the the past

-The basic incapability of handling the truth, the list goes on.

So we run, as fast as we can with the lies that calm those churning stomachs temporarily, until, we are forced to a screeching halt, before that sharp turn, which has been appearing gradually from afar.

We know fully well, it was just a matter of time. Time to face one's demons!

A recent such event in the family, knocked me awake from my sleepwalking. I knew fully well, for the past couple of months that I had been shutting my ears and thus guarding my heart, to news that I knew would absolutely deconstruct me. I fed on the possibility of a different outcome and had my life moving, somewhat. For far too long, I had been living in this comfort zone, fully running on reserve. My resources were beginning to deplete, and my mind and body screamed out loud. Yet the days had to move. Surely enough, the fixtures began falling one by one, until I realized I had nothing much getting me ahead actually.

And then it happened!

As the rug got pulled from under, I fell with the only thing I had left - a brittle shell, stuck with worn out band aids, for far too long.

I never thought the pieces would ever be picked up again. I was in limbo- not waiting, not looking ahead or behind, but just watching as I lay there in pieces, feeling nothing but occasional stifling grief and fear coupled with numbness.

But Providence had a different plan- I soon got taken over! Brushed up into careful hands, I am getting glued gingerly back again. With the careful nudges and plenty of unexpected affection, encouragement, and inexplicable force of strength from those that have always been there, I feel like I'm being built again. I am being made- over. Although there are moments of extreme sadness, I can lean on some of these takers and feel again. Learning to push forward, stand, drive, feel, think or even take the highway, all because someone cares enough and believes enough in 'brittle ol me', to be whole again!

These are angels in disguise walking among us. They may be someone you just met, someone you may have heard of or better yet someone who has always shown up co incidentally or otherwise, when you sit alone in the bleachers, after the game is over and the stadium is empty. They come to you and take you just as you are and know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you have to walk again and they are going to be there.

You try to figure your way out of the maze and God places the most unexpected yet perfect people into your life, nursing you back into it. You are made to realize that color does exist and being who you really are, with your imperfections is -perfect enough! Its camaraderie, kinship, laughter, memories, love, silliness, tears all added into perfect love that heals and never leaves. Everyone deserves a shot at it I think.

So the next time you think it's all falling apart, wait -

You may get taken over for a complete make over!